that's a question.

i've been filling out a lot of job applications lately, just for summer work. i already have a job with my university, but i want something during the summer to keep me busy.

however, i was happily filling out applications, talking about my qualifications, hobbies, experience, references and so on. they're all good, i'm a good employee overall. but, one question asked me to describe myself. and i really struggled with it. sure, i have a rough idea of what i'm like. but how do i come off to others?

to me i'm confident, strong willed, decisive, realistic, creative, opinionated, persistant, headstrong. i also need to feel i know what is happening and when, i cannot just go through life with things unplanned. i feel these qualities make me a person which will stand up for themselves and for others, and not back down when threatened or when facing a challenge. i enjoy debating, and am not afraid to argue on something i truly believe is right. if i have a gut feeling on something, i will fight for it.

but recently, from interviewers, family, romantic interests, i've been told these are not good. i've been told i'm dominating, overbearing, stubborn, aggressive, impulsive. i've been told it's impossible to argue with me, or to avoid an argument with me. i've been told i can't let things go.

 is my personality destructive, or constructive? do i scare people away, or show them that i'm not a pushover? so, my question is, should i change? but will it be for myself, or for others?