monkey see, monkey do

in response to jess' and ben's blogs (you'll see them in my followers) about who i am and my relationships.

jess discussed about everyone having their own 'doctor'; someone to protect them, trust, laugh with etc. for me? i don't believe this. i've had relationships, both intimate and not, where i have viewed a person in this way. someone to trust, someone who will protect me and care for me. but in the end, they either leave or change. then suddenly, you don't have your 'doctor' anymore. all your trust, love, care and friendship that went into that person is completely nullified.

so, i am my own 'doctor'. i care for myself, i rely on myself and keep my problems to myself. i am the only one who cares about them and the only one who can fix them. trusting and relying on others gets you nowhere in life; especially if you chose the wrong person. doing things like this for yourself avoids hurt and confusion and saves times and effort.

and as for who i am? i'm a lot of things; good and bad. but each of those things, i'm proud of. i'm loyal, friendly and loving. but on the contrary, i'm volatile, destructive and difficult. can i change it? no. am i going to change it? doubt it. should i change it? i have no reason to. i am who i am, and that's that.